The turduckin of cakes

I think this might be a challenge...



But I also think I might vomit if this comes anywhere near my kitchenaid mixer. Some things are sacred, y'all, and this might be the devil.

Stupidity, atrocious calumny, infamous wickedness!

Google Translate is my new favorite toy.

As I type I am sitting in Winterthur's rare book room and (carefully) flipping my way through La Mode Nouvelle, a French fashion and political periodical printed in 1832. I'm looking for early 1830s fashion plates in order to compare the styles against French paper dolls from 1822 for a paper that I have due on Friday (oh, graduate school!), but I keep on coming up against very impassioned-looking sentences written in italics and with multiple exclamation points that just cry out for translating.

My current favorite? "Gens de la revolution, avez-vous prodique aux pretres assez de menaces et d'outrages?" Which, according to Google Translate comes out to something like: "People of the Revolution, do you have enough priests to lavishes upon threats and insults?" Somehow I think something was lost in translation.

So, I ask you, people of the revolution: DO you have enough priests to lavishes upon threats and insults? Inquiring minds want to know.

Boxes for everyone!

No, actually, I just made one. So a box for me, I guess.


His name is Walter. He is big enough to hold maybe five pens and a mini-stapler, but he's mine, all mine!

I ended up using linseed oil as a coating instead of shellac - it lets the grain of walnut shine through more. And if I keep using words like "grain," "dovetail," and "chisel," I might be able to fool you into believing that I know what I'm talking about. Which, clearly, I don't.

Still, I made a box! I guess if this museum curator thing fails, I can always fall back on a career in cabinetmaking. (The furniture conservators who supervised our box-making just got pounding headaches and they don't even know why.)

Wood as far as the eye can see

Grad school is hard. We've got tons of reading, papers due every week, and then, of course, there's shop class.

Yes, internet, I am building a wooden candle box in graduate school. Yesterday I used a handsaw and a chisel to make the dovetail joints and then I assembled it using hide glue (which smells, by the way, exactly how you'd expect: gross, and a little like warm melted cow.) Today we're going to be shellacking our boxes to bring out the "shine" of the walnut wood.

Apparently this craft project is supposed to help us understand the experience of the 18th century cabinetmaker and appreciate the material goods they produced in a more hands-on fashion. I'm so busy being inordinately proud of my kind of sloppy dovetails, though, that I don't think I'm going to be able to focus on anything else.

Shoshana, Master Cabinetmaker! Just rolls of the tongue, right?

P.S. I'm in graduate school. I'm pretty sure I mentioned this earlier, but if not - yeah. Graduate school! Can't believe they were crazy enough to let me in, but they can't take it back now.

"Us rich white men cannot stand for this oppression."

Kids reenact the Revolutionary War! It goes a lot faster than I remember from 4th grade history, but I'm guessing they've got it right. British family across the pond, listen up! This is what happens when you try to tax us without giving us appropriate representation in Parliament: you get children in tricorn hats hitting you with baguettes! (mmmm, baguettes.)



Also, the kid at the end has it right: "Now let's party!" Happy birthday, America! Stay classy!

(Video from Babelgum, by way of Jezebel.)

The obligatory Blackhawks post

So, most people who meet me are not surprised to find out that I have very little interest in sports. I love the idea of sports and sports fanaticism, of a civil religion of sorts that draws communities together around a common goal, but actually sitting down and watching a game is sort of beyond me.

Except, apparently, for the fact that Chicago is totally changing me. I went to a Cubs game a few weeks ago (I know, I know, the Cubs suck and their fans are usually really unpleasant, but Wrigley Field is historic! And it's a classic baseball experience!) and I really enjoyed myself. Even more game-changing (see? I make sports puns!), though, is my Chicago Blackhawks experience.

I've always had a fond spot in my heart for hockey - any sport that involves ice skates, extreme speed, violence and toothlessness is okay in my book. But I've just watched a six-game play-off series for the first time, and I am astonished by how fun it was. And twenty minutes ago, the Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup series against the Philadelphia Flyers, and I found myself jumping and screaming at the TV in my hipster friend's apartment while the city below us went absolutely NUTS.

All of which is to say: Chicago has turned me into a bona fide hockey fan. And with a change like that, who knows what comes next? Maybe I'll even decide to watch Shakespeare in Love!* Crazy changes are afoot!

*Don't hold your breath. This will never happen.

Semper Gumby: always flexible

I am so freaking late to the game on this one, but it has to be said: Generation Kill is AMAZING. The miniseries, I mean... I haven't read the book it's based on, but after watching only two episodes of the show I know it's next on my reading list (after I finish a truly depressing non-fiction account of the building of the Oklahoma City bombing memorial... you can probably guess why it's taking me a while.)

But honestly, I can't get over how phenomenal Generation Kill is. I've been nursing a cold (four months of winter the likes of which is usually only seen in Siberia, and the moment the sun comes out I get sick) so I've been staying in a lot, which has given me TONS of time with which to watch tv on my crappy little laptop screen. Its just like the summer after freshman year of college when I sprained my ankle and spent two months catching up on Veronica Mars, Alias and Sports Night, only this won't last as long.

The show is so well-paced, so well-edited, and the writing is tight, terse and clever all at once. I don't know why I'm surprised, given that David Simon (he of the Wire and Treme) is so centrally involved, but I am just floored by what I've been watching. And I say this as someone who really doesn't like war movies. I mean, don't get me wrong: watching shit blow up on screen is one of my favorite past-times, but I'm well aware that I prefer my violence fantastical and escapist rather than realistic and depressing. In Generation Kill, though, they neither glorify the violence or try to make it a tragic epic about the moral costs of war - instead, it just really feels like we're following these men through an actual invasion, with all the violence and humor and bureaucratic screw-ups that comes with it.

Anyway, I'm only two episodes in so I'm sure my appreciation for the miniseries will become more complex and reflective as I make my way through, but I just thought it had to be said now: Generation Kill is FANTASTIC, and anyone who isn't watching it needs to start right now.



*Oh, and one more thing: this is Ray, my favorite character so far. He got burned by an illegal camp stove that one of the other Marines was using to make espresso! He was on the debate team in high school, but all his fellow teammates thought he was high on uppers all the time! He wears pimp sunglasses and knows all the words to Avril Lavigne songs! He also has some of the most epic speeches on American society, the war, and the ridiculous recruitment commercials the Marines made with that stupid dragon, but they aren't very family friendly. If I removed all the swear words from my favorite monologue so far there would be, like, five other words, and most of them would be definite articles. In short: I LOVE YOU RAY.