This is not a post about Sarah Palin

Is Camille Paglia still relevant? I ask because she has somehow managed to get me UTTERLY PISSED OFF with her self-righteous attitude toward feminism and patriotism. No, wait. Scratch the "somehow." I know how she did it - she wrote an article for Salon.com about Sarah Palin, feminism, and what it means to be a macho woman. And then she went and wrote this little gem:

"One reason I live in the leafy suburbs of Philadelphia and have never moved to New York or Washington is that, as a cultural analyst, I want to remain in touch with the mainstream of American life. I frequent fast-food restaurants, shop at the mall, and periodically visit Wal-Mart (its bird-seed section is nonpareil). Like Los Angeles and San Francisco, Manhattan and Washington occupy their own mental zones -- nice to visit but not a place to stay if you value independent thought these days."

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? People, I am sick and tired of being informed by various members of the media that because I live in a primarily liberal city, I somehow have revoked my American citizenship without realizing it. I'm sorry - I didn't know that the coastal cities of America had actually seceded and were forming their own little country called Bleedingheartliberalstan. City dwellers are just as American as rural folk, and for that matter, Camille, the "leafy suburbs of Philadelphia" are not exactly the heartland.

Moreover, how did we ever get to the point where geography defines our patriotism? The money that yuppies spend at Whole Foods is just as green as the dollars Paglia drops down at Wal-Mart for their peerless birdseed. And FYI - I LOVE FAST FOOD. I don't eat it because I don't want to die of a heart attack, not because I hate America. Why does "the mainstream of America" have to be so damn narrow? Why can't we have a "main-river" of America where lots of different eddies of lifestyles come together in a rush of cultural water? Or am I getting to eco-hippy-dippy for the mainstream?

And WTF? Paglia hates on liberal cities like San Francisco (the leftiest city that ever did left, obviously) but earlier in the column she's all smiles and compliments for Diane Feinstein, SF's former mayor and California's current senior senator. What is up with that? I thought people from San Francisco don't "value independent thought these days." BOO.*

Finally, I want to make this clear: if Paglia thinks shopping at Wal-Mart is what defines a person as American, then fine. I shop at Wal-Mart because I can't afford to shop anywhere else. I'm pretty sure Paglia's beloved "mainstream of America" shops there for the same reason, so I guess that means I win this round of "Who is More Patriotic, You or Camille Paglia?" Who is ready for round two? I call foul for Paglia's use of the word "nonpareil." After all, it's French. That's like an automatic out, right?

*And BTW, I adore Di-Fi. If she weren't even older than John McCain, I'd be writing her name in for President. Of course, unlike John McCain, she recognizes when her time has passed. Thanks Di-Fi, for being made of AWESOME.